Perfect place, Wrong Companion

I was randomly looking at Romantic Dining places online and i came across this picture.




Yes. It's Equinox @ Swissotel.
Isn't it simply enchanting?
Just looking at the picture makes me feel so illusory.
No wonder it is voted the "Most Romantic Restaurant" in Asia.

As I'm posting this, I'm actually accompanied by lounge music being performed at the Upper Concourse Area (am at the Information Counter). So you would have to excuse me if i seem to be a bit mellow k. Hee.

Ok, back to what i was saying, isn't it enchanting!
Covoyed with a private lift for the restaurant, breathtaking view of the city skyline, bird-eyes view from the huge window, soft music and the ideal lighting.
imagine if you were dining here with the one you really love?
I'm sure the night would feel like one of the most perfect moments you've had together. And it might even lead to something better. hehe



But. (sorry to ruin the moment)

What if you were spending time here with someone you are forced to marry.
And loving him/her is close to impossible.
At the same time, you are thinking about another person you truly love and miss.
But you guys just can't be together.

Pretty sucky huh.
It's like a wasted moment don't you think?

Maybe you might think that I should not waste my time thinking too much about unnecessary issues. But you can't blame me. It can get kinda scary you know if u end up marrying someone u can never have feelings for. But worse would be marrying someone whom you think is nice and all and he ends up being a wife torturer.


All these thoughts & fears filled my mind when i was watching a documentary on "National Georgraphic Channel".
Before i begin, would like to state that i am just stating what i recalled about the documentary. Apologise if i missed out or misinterpreted anything ya.
Ok, here goes.
It's was shot in Country X about the life of a Muslim lady after she was matchmaked to marry one of her villageman.
You see, they have been married for a couple of years and even has a son.
But one day, the 'oh-so-dumb' husband decides to suspect his wife of adultery.
And it is not that he had any valid evidence.It was purely based on the rumors that he heard from other people.

Care to guess what he did to his poor innocent wife? (She has been proven to be innocent btw) Without even questioning her & giving her a chance to save herself,the cruel animal

1. Cut off her tongue
2. Chopped off her nose.
3. Snipped off her tongue.

&....

4. GORGED OUT her eyes.

EVIL!!!!!

And this is not even the worst part yet.
He was not convicted for anything because he actually used religion to save himself. How Pathetic!

Apparently, in Country X, it is believed that when a man marries a lady, he has full authority over her and that he can do anything to her without any interference from the authorities. When questioned, he actually said that in Islam, if a husband feels, i repeat, FEELS that the wife has committed a crime, he is allowed to punish her in any way and she can't complain and, here's the best part.He says that this fact is stated in the Holy Book.

BULLSHIT!!!!! Coz it's NOT!

I am not an angel or anything but i am very sure that such a teaching does not exist. Yes, we are taught to be filial to our husbands but it is also stated that the man's duty as a husband is to provide and protect his wife. Not torture her!
If such a rule does exists, all the poor wives of all the psychos in the world would be dead and living a life of hell right now. I swear if i could, I would pay someone to do to torture the exact manner he did to his wife. That would teach him a lesson or two. Only reason i wouldn't resort to killing is coz I wouldn't want his kid to end up becoming an orphan.
He apparently treats his son well so ya.

Seriously, I don't believe that there are such evil people in this world. I mean, it's your own wife for crying out loud.
And thanks to him, his son is afraid to look at his wife's face ever since. If I'm not mistaken, she had to wrap up her face most of the time.
The poor dame.

Well, to cut the story short, the American reporters(i think )decided to help her and try change her life after knowing the sad and painful truth.

Wanna know wat they did?

They brought her to doctors and cosmetic surgeons and arranged for her to get a new pair of eyes, a new tongue and a new nose, all custom made.

So eventually the poor lady was able to show her face in public again without feeling ashamed.

Of course she did not look like how she used to and she couldn’t regain back her eyesight (the purpose of the artificial eyes were just to fill up the eye sockets) , but this was the first step to trying to lead a life, close to normal again. She was very touched by what had been done for her and she was ‘crying’. It was sad to see that though we were aware that she was crying, we could only hear her whimper and there was no tears.
But I was glad to hear how happy and grateful she was.

Gd for her! hehe

As for the loser husband, he is still does not have any feeling of remorse for what he has done and is just continuing to live his own life.


But justice has to be done don't u think! He can't be let scott free just like that.
It will become a practice for other men and women will end up living in fear.


Hmmmmmmm....

Oh well, that should be all for now. In any case, once i get news, I'll update u guys yup.

Toodlez!

Guide to Building Up on your Self-Confidence

In relation to the previous post, I came across an article which i felt was pretty accurate and motivating. I made some amendments and additions based on past experiences.

So, as stated in the heading, here's presenting to you 10 guidelines on HOW TO BUILD UP YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE:





1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind tell you? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.

2. Talk about it with friends and loved ones.Make sure its people you can trust so that you know that they will not use it against you in the future. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.

3. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

4. Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.

5. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

6. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

7. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

8. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.

9. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

10. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.

Toodlez!

A.D.D

It means : Persistent pattern of inattention, forgetfulness, poor impulse control and distractibility.

And i think i'm suffering from it. Not much. Just a teeny bit.

You see, years back, while i was at a clinic, i asked the doctor if there were any medications for people who always forget things and stuff cause i was sick of being so careless all the time. I eventually told him about the problem i was facing and after making comparisons to the symptoms, he mentioned that there is a possibility that i might be having slight ADD, which means Attention Deficit Disorder.

As i looked at the symptoms, I understood what he meant.
(This is referring to a couple of years back)

1. Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities - (God knows how careless i can get.I'll miss out the most obvious mistakes)

2. Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks - (I get bored pretty fast)

3. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly - (If i am not interested, give me two minutes and I'll shut down)

4. Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions) - (Works usually halfway done, even though i know what to do)

5. Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework)- (Never liked challenges and things that i feel i might fail at. Anything that makes me think too much, forget it!)

6. Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools) - (I misplace things as often as i shower)

7. Procrastination - (That's my forte!)

8. Easy distracted - trouble focusing attention, tendency to tune out or drift away in the middle of a page or conversation, often coupled with an inability to focus at times - (Another forte. I'll even forget what i was supposed to do)

9. Often forgetful in daily activities - (Forgetting was my middle name)

10. A sense of underachievement, of not meeting one's goals (regardless of how much one has actually accomplished) - (I was never satisfied with my projects outcomes.Never could stick to one concept which always end up with me doing unnecessary excess work)

11. Difficulty getting organized - (Seen my room? It used to get cleaned up during Hari Raya only)

12. Trouble getting started - (Thinking about it becomes taxing)

13. An intolerance of boredom - (Only time I'm fine being alone for long is when I'm asleep or too tired. Too long and I'll get so restless)

14. Changing plans, enacting new schemes or career plans etc. - (There's always something else that interests me.I couldn't focus)

15. Physical or cognitive restlessness - (When I'm alone for too long)

16. A tendency towards addictive behaviour - (If i really like to do something or appreciate a certain someone I can be at it all the way)

17. Chronic problems with self-esteem - (Low confidence is something i've been facing)


It got pretty frustrating for me cause i felt really useless.
Even mummy & daddy were worried that i might have a hard time facing the real world with such a character.
From advices to being lectured to even Ginko Biloba's, I had it all.

But as i started to get into the working world, I kept reminding myself that i'm now facing the real world. I have to get back to reality, as quoted by Eminem.

To cut the story short, I started improving once i started my permanent position in Esplanade.

I am still as forgetful and careless at times but I'm working on it.
It does get very taxing at times because you forever have people pointing out your mistakes and even the most trivial matters becomes an issue. One thing I've learnt is that i need to be more confident and try not to make my mistakes become so obvious all the time cause when u start out as someone who always forgets and is perpetually careless, people naturally end up not really trusting you as they feel that they can't depend on you. It's not their fault really. Any human being would react in the same manner. At times, I would feel so vulnerable and i kept wishing that i wasn't so useless. But at the same time, I do realise that noone else can help me but myself. I will not change if i myself don't have the drive and discipline to do so. I'm grateful to some of my friends and collegues who are constantly advising me as well as recognising my effort.Even my family members gives me the support i need.Moral support does make a big difference cause at least i won't feel so alone.

Right now, I am starting to feel a bit lagging as my to-do list has started to pile up. Once i settle my "errands", I'll start to work out a routine on how to further improvise myself. It will take a while but I'm sure it will be worth it.

All the best Shahira!

Toodles!

Companion Casting

And I've a list to choose from (In order of preference)

Feral Ones:

1. Regina septemvittata
2. Masticophis bilineatus
3. Drymobius margaritiferus

Archangelic Ones:

1. Coton de Tulear
2. Shih Tzu
3. Persian Chinchilla
4. Chicks
5. Philippines Tarsier


Fluttering Ones:

1. Butterfly
2. Parrots

Fresh year, New pursuit.

A thought I'm finally penning down.

I've always wanted to venture in something.
Nowadays, people, even young teenagers are constantly upgrading themselves.
From taking up new courses to opening up a business & even selling fashion apparel & accessories online, they never put a stop to progressing.

They give me this drive to advance too.
And so, i thought of what i could do.

Taking up courses would be fun...but what?
That led me branching out to listing out my interests.
After all the brainstorming, stoning and day-dreaming, I actually came up with something...

And i can't waith to get started.

Wish me luck!

All about the crown.

It went from 8 inches to 2mm.
Pain and irritation made it lose it's length
Began with curls
And ended with spikes
Again, it reached its stage of locks, slowly
But that didn't last for long
Unworthy dame ruined the months of maintaining.
Regret, but left with no choice
Once ready, she went at it again.
Now, with a trusted aid.
Hoping to achieve what she has lost in time to come.
To be able to fling and run through it.
To regain the confidence of a girl.
Growing girl to be precised.
Lady.

Whether it will match, she can't wait to find out.
But wait is all she can do for now.
And wait is what she will do.
To achieve the one thing she's been dreaming of.
The crown.


In case you were wondering, i was referring to my hair.

A question on Sincerity

* Do people think that help comes with a thought of expecting something in return?

* Does sincerity come with a price?

* Why does sometimes it seems as if the world IS a scary place and there will always be someone who wants to see you fall?

* These are the questions which seems to build up in her mind recently.

And a recent incident that occured added on to the rising questions she never use to ponder upon.

She was out with a friend and his family.
While they were at a handphone kiosk, the salesman accidentally dropped the handphone pouches he was holding on to. Upon realising, her friend immediately went over to help him pick it up.
That's nice, she thought.
Till he said " I thought that if i helped him pick it up he might give me something for free"

What a cheapskate?! she thought.

Her : "So not sincere ok?"

Him : "Ya what, nowadays when you help people it doesn't come for free you know? There's always a reason". And he looked at her with a cheeky sneer/smile.

Somehow, she felt insulted.

Her : "Not everyone thinks like that ok".

Him : "Ya, whatever..". Again with the exact smile plastered on his face.

You see, if it had been a stranger, she wouldn't have given two hoots about what he just said but the fact it, he has been recently asking for her help and as a friend, she did what she could. She seriously don't care about the part of helping him but more on what he just said. It seems like he thinks that she is going all out to helping him with an ulterior motive.
Now that's insulting.

Cause she doesn't know how people usually define it when they mention "to help" but in her context, it means to SINCERELY render assistance. Unless it's someone we particularly am not in favor of then it will be more of granted out of goodwill or perhaps they both get what they want, then it's ok. But still, to go all out and help a friend with u having an Ulterior Motive?

That's screwed up.

She's not saying she's an angel or a good samaritan who has a pure heart and everyone else is evil and stuff.
Just that the thought of friends helping with an ulterior motive kinda bugs her.
Of course he did nothing wrong to her but he gave her a reason to think. And feel afraid.

It starts to question friendship.


However, maybe she is just being a bit too sensitive and she can't safely assume that he thinks like that of her but seriously, even if he does, she doesn't care. Cause her purpose is to help and since it never crossed her mind to get anything out of him, why bother worrying.

And maybe, he is just being irritating,like how he always is, trying to test her.

Oh well, who cares.

Right now, she suddenly doesn't.

Cause there are phrasings which she always try to hold on to (though looking at how scary the world can be, she does need to firm up a bit)

Her philosophy/s : Live life to the fullest and not filling it with sadness or hatred and try to be sincere in whatever you do. Respect & do not ill-treat anyone cause what goes around, come around.


Toodles!

Subtle Mission

Dispose the Grease & Irritation
Maintain suppliments
Take it easy

BOYZ CAN BE SO SUCKY.

Why do boys have to make girls cry all the time?
Why can't they just be sensitive to our feelings?
Why can't they just understand?..
Before they get us, they act as if we mean the world to them.
But once we decide to commit and make an effort to put our heart into the relationship, they start their nonsense.
One things for sure, they think that they are always right.
That they are smarter than us.
Sometimes, they just don't want to listen.
One word, EGO.
Yea sure, every guy has an ego but when you love someone, why should your ego be an interference?
Would you rather lose a loved one than to lose your ego?
And one more thing, they say one thing and they mean another.
Example; EMPTY PROMISES
Don't make pacts if you can't fulfill them
If you say you wanna do something, then jolly-well make an effort.
To you it might not be important, but to us, it does.
Some things Are to be taken seriously.
Guys are well-known for running away & avoiding.
So it's normal for girls to freak out when they give such attitude.
Cause avoidance always leads to something negative doesn't it?

Guys are suppose to be the stronger gender but from the way things happen, it's pretty obvious that girls are the braver ones.
When the guy is unhappy, girls will go all out to comfort.
But when the girl is unhappy, the guy will provide some comfort and then run away or give up when they can't do anything to help.
They even get frustrated when they feel that the girl is being over-sensitive.
Like Hello!? Someone is sad here!
And when the relationship is on the rocks, they are the ones who lose hope first while the girl will end up trying their best to make the relationship work.
This always ends up with the girl trying to be strong and endure as much on their own.
Guys, on the other hand, can't control their emotions and tend to flare up over the slightest thing.
And they expect the girl to always be there for them.

Yea, its true. There are good guys in the world too and these guys who hurt girls do have their share in being nice at times but can't they make an effort not to let their pride get in the way?

C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E
That's what they need to learn.
And they need to apply it the right way.
In a relationship, one has to compromise.
But no relationship should be a compromise.

So they should stop taking the easy way out and realise that when they decide to start the relationship, they have accepted a new responsibility and they should be reliable and work on it.
Not just let it be just cause they got the girl?
It's like taking up a project and not doing anything about it.

So to All the Noti Boys who have been slacking, Listen Up!Make an effort to change for the better before its too late.
Coz once the girl decides to really give up, you gonna regret it.
In this case, it's not better late than never but more like better never than late.

The Foe that doesn't say goodbye.

Its been more than a week now
But it still continues to haunt.
What's puzzling is why only on a single area?
Can't it balance it up so it won't be so tiring?
Question, how long more?
Will it be a permanent one?
It's affecting her work, her concentration, her life
Her system has been concentrated with antidotes
And it's presence has attracted more uninvited guests
She's willing to do what it takes to make it leave her.
Cause she wants her life back.

Go away! Go away! Go Away!

Spiffed

Throbbing right brain
3am's
Warm milk
Purple-pink capsules..

N so hoping it stops soon..
Cause i'ts getting tiring.

Thank -You Pretty One...

This is now my official bloggie!
Thanks to pretty one who patiently taught me how to go about using it.
Thank-You Pretty One!
Huggies!

Perfectly Imperfect

It's funny how books can give one inspiration & make a person realise things they never knew. Here's something i wrote about after reading the book "The Man from Perfect" n it made me realise wat i want...as in in a man. N, No. It's not the typical hot body, tanned skin, sexy, rich, hopelessly romantic, patient,cooks n cleans n qualities ( especially physical qualities ) that supposedly makes most girls go crazy for. I believe those can be regarded as bonus points if it happens to exist in the package.

What i really one is someone who is Perfectly Imperfect, whereby his imperfections seem perfect to me. Meaning that if i can live n accept his imperfections, that means he is my perfect guy.
Coz if at the start of everything, if he fits all the perfect criteria every girl wants in a man, then his imperfections won't make him perfect anymore would it?

Because, at the end of the day, nobody's perfect.

Probably, that's e reason why if two parties start off not liking each other, maybe even fighting n arguing, when they eventually accept each other, there is a high possibility that they might even end up falling for one another. Y? Because, they have seen the worst of each other ( the true colours ), n once they have been able to accept those imperfections, ( meaning seeing each other's negative points in a positive way) , they have reached that comfort level and there will be no expectations anymore as they r able to be themselves n at the same time accepted by the other party. That makes the perfect couple doesn't it?

But wat about those who start out being happy n liking each other, trying their best to impress the other party? In this case, it depends on the situation. For some, it does work out, especially if they have been close frens for a long time n i mean yrs long, n when they realise they have a thing for one another, it usually works out because being frens for years, they would have uncovered their imperfections right?

However, for those who like each other or think they like each other n do not take the time to get to know each other before jumping into a relationship, then for all u know, if they r going to fast, the relationship might not last. As they always say, a relationship that moves too fast, ends fast. Because, they think they know each other, when they actually don't.

This is so because, from the start , if u only see their perfections ( especially if it meets your criteria of your ideal soulmate) , that means that u have somehow set a certain standard n once u learn more about their imperfections, it would make your perfect soulmate imperfect because they can't maintain the expectations you had of them from the start.

N why is it difficult to maintain it?
That's because, from the start, they were not being themselves. Because they were too busy trying their best to impress the other party n living up to the other party's expectations. N due to that, it's hard for them to hit their comfort zone n be who they r beacuse of the fear of not being able to be the perfect soulmate of the other party. But at the end of the day, nobody's perfect, so when they try to be themselves and show another side of them which the other party has never seen, it sort of gives the impression that are changing , not for the better n if the other party can't accept it, that's when problems begin.

So at the end of the day, just be yourself, especially to the ones that u might have a thing for, coz if he is able to accept you for who you realli are from the beginning, then he is your forever. Wat's e point of pretending to be someone else so that you can be liked when you yourself don't feel comfortable about it which will eventualli lead to further disappointment right?

Because at the end of the day, nobody's perfect, so if you find someone who thinks that your imperfections are perfect, that means their yours to keep.

An Unexpected Interview

I was happily sitting at info-counter, playing with my hair when i was approached by this malay couple.

They wanted information on the Amy Search show next week.
Great! A fan of Amy! I was more than happy to help.
And i thought they were just fans.

God knows how excited i was when i found out that they were Producers who were planning to get Amy to come to Singapore to perform in November!

They started interviewing me and asking me what i thought and which Malay or Indonesian bands or celebrities i would like to come to perform in Singapore.
So Fun! So Fun!

And so...the Minah in me came out..
I started naming all the classic rockers like Nash, Wings, Spoon and as for Indo grps, Once, Peterpan(Oh,My Ariel), Samson etc..
I even asked them if they could bring the collaborated 4 hot stars who did Isabella 98..hehe
They then parted and they told me that if i was coming to the concert, they would like me to join them . How sweet..!

Hoping to bump into them if i'm going...
RoCk NeVa DiEs!! hehe

She's back Again..

Yes, this time I am back for good.